If I asked you to go to bed with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
(This was sent to me by a lady) A guy approached her and said "I have the F the C and the K, now all I need is U." It didn't work!!!!
That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...
Do you want to see something swell?
Hey babe....do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
What do you like for breakfast?
Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you.
Can I call you or nudge you?
Excuse me. Do you wanna f**k or should I apologize?
Irish : Have you got a little Irish in you?
She: Uh...no....
Irish: Well, do you want some?
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:
Smile if you want to sleep with me
then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...
Pardon me miss, but I couldn't help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Would you like to dance, or should I go fuck myself again?
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
At the office copy machine: Reproducing eh? Can I help?
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
From: MAD Magazine: Classic Flops
Spring 1986.
9 Very Unsuccessful Pick-up Lines:
---------------------------------
1. "Would you like to see my boa constrictor?"
2. "Is that a false nose?"
3. "You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno."
4. "I'm drunk."
5. "Hi, my friends call me Creepy."
6. "Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?"
7. "I just threw up."
8. "You're ugly but you intrigue me."
9. "I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed
like that."
Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Motion your finger to a girl to get her to come your way.
When she arrives say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would c*m."
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k?
And when she says "No"....
What's the matter, don't like pizza?
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy?
What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
Hello, Love, - Do you spit or swallow?
You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book...
So what's one more??
Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Excuse me, do you wanna spoon or should I apologize?
The best pickup line I witnessed was a friend of mine who walked up to a young lady in a club and asked "Are you ready to go home now?". They left together.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it?
If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold _IT_ against me?
When asked for a match:
How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
You smell. Let's take a shower together
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade
Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
Want to see my stamp collection?
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
I'd look good on you.
Ever tried those wierd prickly condoms? (sure to get responses)
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your measurements?
Sometimes it can be helpful to start with a complement. eg. after "accidently" bumping her boobs, noticing a loose button, etc. say "If they weren't sooo large it wouldn't have happened"
I love every bone in your body - especially mine
Hi! Can I buy you a Car?
My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
Do you know how to use this? [a vibrator]
How about the best response to an unwanted pickup?
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.
"DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR STOMACH?"
"NO."
"CAN I."
"Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?"